INTRODUCTION

​I’ve always enjoyed my childhood. My fondest memories are those when I was young and growing up in the country. Cooking food from the garden and hand sewing pillows and curtains were my favorite things I shared with my mother. Living in a small town and the simplicity of country living was a wonderful experience and my mother made that experience all the more enjoyable with her beautiful spirit and love for her family. My mother was a very passionate and loving person. She adored her children, and we knew it! She was a fierce woman of God and a strong protector. She would tell us, “I wish I could shield y’all from all hurt and pain.” Of course, she knew she couldn’t, but she tried. I only wish I could have shielded her.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013, would be the saddest day of my life. My mother died of a heart attack. My siblings and I had no idea she was sick. We found out later she knew but didn’t tell us. She didn’t want to worry us, that was her way of protecting us again. This was so unexpected because Mother was just home with me in September helping me prepare for my daughter’s sweet sixteen birthday party. She would return to her home in California, tie up some loose ends and come back to live with me….she had finally agreed. I prepared her room with everything she needed anticipating her return. She never made it back.

I suffered so much with the death of my Mother. The grief, hurt and pain I experienced almost destroyed me. I sank so deep into depression while trying to pretend I was okay for my children. Someone said to me one day while I was on the floor crying my eyes out, “Get up, your daughter is watching you!”  “How is she going to get through if she sees you falling apart?” They didn’t understand that they made me feel ashamed of grieving and I would try to never let my daughter see me cry again. I held it in when I wanted to scream! I held it in when I wanted to die too! “Suck it up Woman of God,” I told myself, “others are watching you!” I did, but I was dying on the inside.

It is often thought that Christians don’t grieve, or shouldn’t grieve too long, which is not the case.  I use Christians as an example because of my own experience. As Christians, we are supposed to celebrate that the person is in a much better place, but those who are left still have a huge loss inside that needs to be mourned. It is hard to talk to family about your grieving because they are grieving as well. There were so many nights…late nights…I wanted and needed to talk to my siblings, but I couldn’t bother them, after all, they lost their mother too.

Then there is the guilt, shame, and regret when dealing with grief. The shame often comes from how you are treated by others during your grieving. The stigma associated with grief and the lack of information and understanding as well can make people seem heartless. Then the guilt and regrets come into play. We always think, I should have or could have done more! The “Why wasn’t I there,” will kill you! Ps. 23 teaches us that we will go through the valley of the shadow of death, not go to the other side of the valley where it is peace and joy. We actually have to go through the valley, however, we don’t have to go through alone!

I turned to my church for help, as many do, but at the time, my church didn’t have a grief counsellor or a grief ministry to help me deal with my grief and pain. I spent countless days and nights grieving, suffering alone, and experiencing deep depression, guilt and suicidal ideations. This is when the idea of Blessing Through Broken Hearts was born.

​During my most traumatic experience and broken heart, I decided that no one else would ever have to suffer alone. I would turn my pain and suffering into a way to help others that are going through the same or similar circumstances. I started by establishing the first Grief Ministry in my church in 2015, and have since been working with and advocating for individuals that are coping with​ grief, trauma, tragedy and loss.

Blessing Through Broken Hearts mission came from 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.  The Father of mercies and God of all comfort, Who comforts US in all our affliction, so that WE may be able to comfort THOSE who are in ANY affliction, with the comfort with which WE ourselves are comforted by GOD.”

We have all been through something that has broken our hearts, our spirits, and our trust from different areas of life’s journey. Blessing Through Broken Hearts Organization will provide a platform that connects individuals together with the necessary resources for support during the time of their greatest emotional and physical needs.

Everyone hurts differently and no one way of grieving is the same for everyone or every situation…but…Eventually Life Lessons Arrives and we begin to understand…it was necessary!

Juanita Bynum 
Founder & CEO
Blessing Through Broken Hearts